February 5, 2008
Flare Up
The arthritis is bad at the moment. Fortunately I'm seeing my rheumatologist in a couple of weeks (I may even try to get in sooner). The last time I was there he suggested it was time to change medications again, or add something to what I already take.
This is my right hand. At the moment the three middle fingers are good for hunting and pecking on the keyboard and picking up big stuff. I haven't been able to make a fist with this hand for at least a month as not one of those three fingers will close completely (not that I'd want to hit anybody, it would hurt me more than them). The swelling of the middle knuckles of the thumb and first finger is nasty although the ring finger has gotten bad over the last few months as well. The swelling of the top knuckles, especially the first two fingers, is the worst. That sometimes gets better but not a whole lot.
My fingers are usually splayed out like that, especially the first and little ones (I broke the little one years ago and it's been croooked ever since).
The bump on my wrist is in fact my wrist. It's looked like that for years now, as though somebody jammed the wrist bones together, which is pretty much the case as there's no cartilege there anymore, just bones rubbing on bones. The left one is worse and my left hand doesn't hang straight anymore, it has a slight crook to the right.
My feet are much the same but I won't post a picture of those as my kids would die of embarrassment. My knees are giving me trouble lately as are my hips and my shoulders.
Years ago, when the arthritis first came on, I read that it can be temporary and in fact often goes away all on it's own. Few rheumatologists believe this anymore. Certainly in my case it doesn't look like it's ever going to happen.
As ugly as all the bumps and twists are, they don't bother me much , what does is the pain. Chronic pain gets to you, especially when you live with it for years. Sometimes it screams "I'm going to make your every waking and sleeping moment a living hell" and sometimes it whispers "I'm over here good buddy, gonna tune up on you just a little today." Sometimes it even goes away for a while but it always comes back with a grin and an "I'm back buddyroo, get me a drink and spin some tunes, it's party time." And then it starts again, sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks ,sometimes for months.
Still, it's been fifteen years and the pain it hasn't beat me yet. Came close a couple of times but I'm still here. And after a while, the pain almost becomes your friend.
Posted by OldGuy at 9:04 AM | Comments (6)
January 3, 2008
Earthquake
When I was a kid we were in an earthquake in Chile. For years I've been looking for info on it and finally found this scholarly study just before Christmas. We were were in Valparaiso, Chile, the hardest hit area, at the time, and had in fact just and ordered lunch at a local restaurant when it happened.
The paper is quite long and no I didn't read it all, just the details about the earthquake itself. These can be found on page 2.
Posted by OldGuy at 10:37 AM
November 14, 2007
Bronchoscopy II
So I had the bronchoscopy this morning. The good news is that the doctor (handsome young fella, works in the same office as the fellow I saw last week) didn't see any evidence of a tumour so didn't have to do a biopsy. He washed the lung with a saline solution and he's sending samples to the lab for further testing. He said it probably is pneumonia or methotrexate related but they won't know for a bit. I also have to have an MRI and an ultrasound.
The bad news (well, annoying anyway) is that they said I'd probably feel like crap after the procedure. They were right. I'm coughing quite a bit, I have a temperature of 102 and I can't stop going pee. Apparently this is because your body sees the saline solution as a foreign substance and goes into high gear to get rid of it. At least that's what I understood, I was awake but sedated during the procedure. It shouldn't last more than 24 hours. I did get to watch the camera going down on the video screen (very cool).
Everyone should have one of these.
Posted by OldGuy at 3:48 PM | Comments (3)
Bronchoscopy
The respirologist will be away next Monday so the bronchoscopy got rescheduled. It's tomorrow. I mean today. It's in 7-8 hours. I'll get the results on the 22nd.
On a happier note I've discovered the awesome power of the liquify filter in Photoshop (I'd only ever just tinkered with it). Today I turned myself into a vampire and the princess and the lad into elves. I didn't save my creations as they were first efforts however the princess saw hers and now wants me to tun her into an elf for Christmas. Complete with an elf outfit.
Oh yeah, I'll fix the front page this week.
Posted by OldGuy at 1:43 AM | Comments (1)
August 27, 2007
Update On the Lad
Thanks everyone for all your comments and prayers, they are greatly appreciated.
The lad is still in hospital as he hasn't seen the specialist yet and they're still trying to get his numbers settled down. He should be home by tomorrow.
The DKA was quite a scare. Although I had suspected this the other night, I wasn't sure until I read up on the condition again yesterday (it's been a couple of years since we underwent diabetes education); turns out he could have have had heart problems with this too. See, one of the things DKA does is lower potassium levels in the blood, and potassium is necessary for proper functioning of all muscles, including the heart. Normal levels should be between 22-25. The other night when I brought him in he was at 2.8. As a result his heart was beating way too fast (yeah I know, you'd think it would slow down but it speeds up as it works to send blood to vital organs to keep them from shutting down). If this had gone on much longer he might have gone into cardiac arrythmia. Through the night, besides giving him lots of intravenous fluids and insulin they also gave him 6 huge (yes huge, they looked like they were meant for a horse) vials of potassium, testing his levels after each. They also ran several EKG's to make sure his heart wasn't compromised.
Anyway, he's feeling better today but they're still keeping him until tomorrow just to make sure he's okay. He's not happy about that but he doesn't have any say in the matter.
Then begins the process of getting him back on track again as it looks like he let his diabetes control slip up a bit after he left home a few months ago.
Posted by OldGuy at 5:26 PM | Comments (1)
August 26, 2007
DKA
It stands for diabetic ketoacidosis and it's a complication of Type 1 diabetes. It's usually seen in people who haven't yet been diagnosed. They get sick, go to the hospital, and a diagnosis of diabetes is made (if it hasn't been caught before this).
It can also occur in previously diagnosed patients whose blood sugars have been out of whack for a period of time.
DKA may take time to develop but once the body enters into it the symptoms come on quite rapidly, nausea and vomitting being the most alarming ones. Left untreated DKA is almost always fatal.
So why am I mentioning this ?
As some of you know the lad has Type 1 diabetes. Yesterday he woke up feeling out of sorts and by the time I took him to the hospital at 3 a.m. he was in full-blown DKA. I was at the hospital until 11 a.m. when my wife came and took over. Knowing her she'll spend the night with him even if they tell her to go home.
He should be okay, but he'll probably be in the hospital until tomorrow.
At one point last night he was laying in the hospital bed with his eyes closed. He was shaking and I could tell that his eyes were rolling around under his eyelids. I got a little concerned so called a nurse over and asked her if he was okay. She replied "he's very sick."
It scared the hell out of me.
Posted by OldGuy at 1:48 PM | Comments (7)
August 21, 2007
An Encounter
I saw her again on the bus this morning.
That woman.
Sitting quietly.
Reading.
Once in a while up looking up.
Acting no different than anybody else.
As if her life is still the same.
As if nothing changed.
I know better of course, I remember what hapened.
As do others, I mean hey, it was all over the news right ?
Yet she sits quietly, reading her book, waiting for her stop.
I want to say something to her, I've thought about it often since, well, since that time.
But I don't because I'm afraid.
And besides, what would I say ?
So I wait for my stop, get off, and go on my way.
Wondering.
How does she do it ?
It's been two almost two years since this lady's daughter was kidnapped and murdered.
Posted by OldGuy at 9:01 AM
May 2, 2007
All I Need Is the Air That I Breathe
Well, it looks like the swallowing-coughing thing isn't over. When I had the endoscopy a couple of weeks ago the doctor "stretched" my swallowing tube, which was supposed to allow food to go down easier. I've still had a few minor difficulties since then and then last night I had a full blown gagging fit after dinner again. For 2-3 minutes it felt like I couldn't breathe but with a little sage advice from my wife (breathe slowly and deeply) I managed to get over it. My back hurt afterwards though, so I must have been really straining.
Anyway, I guess I'll call the doctor again today (which I was supposed to do anyway but had been putting it off).
Update: I just called the doctor's office. It turns out they're still waiting for the results of the first endoscopy but in the meantime them may stretch my swallowing tube again. Hopefully they won't make it so big that I'll swallow my head.
Posted by OldGuy at 9:13 AM | Comments (3)
April 18, 2007
Having an Endoscopy Tomorrow
I had another swallowing-coughing incident last night that almost made me sick again. Basically I just coughed and choked for about 20 minutes after dinner.
So, after having rescheduled the endoscopy once and having it cancelled by the doctor once, it's on again.
Tomorrow.
I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight tonight. Tomorrow I'm to show up at the hospital in the morning, where I will be tranquilized using a giant needle meant only for horses and have a tube shoved down my throat all the way to my stomach. Then the doctor will take pictures of my insides with the aid of a little camera attached to the tube. He will then "Photoshop" these pictures and make really cool desktops which he will sell for $25 each.
Oh, and if he finds anything wrong with me he'll fix that right up.
Lumbago is coming. Well, actually he's not because of, you know, the accident, but his exciting adventure will pick up where it left off by the weekend. Sorry for the delay but it's been one of those weeks.
Posted by OldGuy at 12:37 PM | Comments (6)
April 16, 2007
Happy Monday !
This was the scene outside the front door at 5:45 a.m. Yeah, we're getting a dandy old winter storm. To make matters worse my bus was about 45 minutes late and while I was waiting we (that's me and everybody else who was waiting) were being regularly pelted by snowballs hurled by Mother Nature. How can this be you ask ? Well, there are several large trees near the bus stop and every couple of minutes a gust of wind would blow some of the wet, heavy snow off the trees and hurl it on us petty humans standing waiting for the bus. After about 40 minutes of this I was drenched. Then, when the bus finally showed up I made my to the back, only to discover that the bus had sprung several leaks. That's right, there was water leaking from several spots in the ceiling, so I got a nice little shower on the way to work. And to top things off some inconsiderate twit went speeding through a large puddle about a block from my building, pretty much soaking two of us who were deperately trying to get out of the way. So, between the wet blowing snow, the snowballs being hurled by Mother Nature, the shower on the bus and the twit I got to work looking and feeling like a drowned rat. Even my underwear are wet.
The only good thing about this experience is that I was able to photograph Mother Nature's cruel joke with MY AWESOME NEW DIGITAL CAMERA !!!
Yeah, I'm going to be saying that for a while so get used to it.
Posted by OldGuy at 9:37 AM | Comments (4)
February 20, 2007
I'm a Wreck
It's been almost three weeks since the lad left. We've heard from him briefly when he needed stuff for the job interview (already blogged about that) and he and I exchanged a couple of e-mails at Valentines. I believe he was starting his new job yesterday. Other than that, not much news from him.
The princess got a haircut on the weekend and absolutely loves her new look. It definitely makes her look older. I'll try to post a picture when I can get one (still working on that digital camera thing, saving whatever I can).
I'm going to see my rheumatologist this Thursday as I have to renew prescriptions. Last night was kinda rough, my left hand hurt like a bugger all night long. I was up around 4 a.m. looking for Tylenol or whatever I could find in the cupboard. And you know, when you have arthritis those child-proof caps are quite a challenge. I'm sometimes tempted to open the bottle with a hammer, just give it a whack and grab a few pills as they come spilling out and scatter all over the kitchen floor. Just a few problems with that, hammer's too damn heavy to lift and the pills would all get away before I caught any as my feet usually hurt too. Right now the princess could kick my ass and I couldn't run fast enough to get away.
I also need new glasses, the ones I'm wearing now spend more time off my face than on.
Somebody shoot me.
Posted by OldGuy at 1:30 PM | Comments (5)
January 31, 2007
Gone for Good
The lad left again today, took off for New Brunswick this morning. No advance warning, he was just going to say good bye as he left. I was just getting ready for work when I realized what was happening, had maybe 10 minutes to make my bus.
It didn't go well.
I wish him luck in his new life.
Posted by OldGuy at 2:48 PM | Comments (10)
January 4, 2007
So Much for the Good Start
It seems the lad may not be returning to university. He has other plans. The next few days should be quite interesting.
On a happier note he and I went to see the new James Bond movie last night. It was pretty good and the new guy is very cool.
Posted by OldGuy at 1:57 AM | Comments (10)
November 9, 2006
A Spot of Trouble
The lad, who as you may know is in his first year of university, took a little road trip to visit a "friend" in another province (for you Americans that's like another state). We were frantic (especially his mother) for 3-4 days wondering where he was but finally found him and he's been back at university since yesterday.
Then last night he called to tell us that he wants to quit school and go live with his "friend."
Needless to say we're blown away !
Posted by OldGuy at 2:40 PM | Comments (9)
September 5, 2006
He's Gone
Yesterday I discovered one of the hardest things about having kids is letting them go.
On Sunday I blogged about how we were packing up the lad's stuff to take him to university. Well, we got up early yesterday and drove him down. We spent the day helping him get set up then around 5:30 p.m. we said goodbye and left.
My wife cried as she was saying goodbye, as did the princess. I was a rock, not one single tear, that is until my wife called him on the cell phone as we were leaving town to say a few final words, and she passed me the phone. I wished him well, told him we would miss him, then choked up. I couldn't even tell him I was passing the phone back to his mother, I just did it.
When we got home last night the house was silent. No young lad sitting at the computer, or upstairs in his room listening to music, just silence.
And a few minutes later, when I walked upstairs and looked into his room, it was dark, quiet and empty.
The young boy we spent the last 18 years raising, protecting, and yes, once in a while fighting with, was gone.
Yesterday when we were at the university they had all kinds of activities planned for the kids to help them get settled in, meet people, find their way around, etc., but there was nothing for the parents, just drop them off, say goodbye, then go home and deal with it.
We'll manage of course, parents have been doing it since time immemorial, but for the moment I'm just very sad.
Posted by OldGuy at 3:07 PM | Comments (5)
March 9, 2006
Still Sick
I was still feeling pretty crappy yesterday so my wife dragged me back to the doctor. Good thing she did.
It seems my immune system took a bit of a beating. While fighting the flu it was weakened to the point that I developped several painful lumps under my armpits. Turns out they're infected, so I'm on antibiotics for those. I hope they work otherwise the doctor will have to lance them and I am definitely not looking forward to that ! Furthermore I also have shingles, which is kinda like chicken pox, and I'm quite itchy. I'm also contagious so have to stay home until it's all cleared up.
Anyway, I'm tired, my appetite is barely coming back (I'm sure I've lost a few pounds this past week) and I feel like sleeping all the time.
But I'm still alive so hopefully I'll be back up to snuff soon.
Now I'm gonna go lay down again.
Posted by OldGuy at 8:37 AM | Comments (4)
March 2, 2006
Deleted Your Good Wishes
Thanks for all the good wishes folks. Unfortunately I accidentally deleted them all.
I think I'm still unwell. :(
Posted by OldGuy at 10:05 AM | Comments (4)
March 1, 2006
Sick
Just a quick entry. I'm not dead, although I wish I was.
I've been sick for the last couple of days, plus my arthritis is being a real bear, so basically I've been a sniffling, quivering, alternately hot and cold, mass of painful flesh since yesterday.
Needless to say I don't feel like writing much else.
One thing, I've finally decided to let comments appear immediately. I figure my spam filter is working pretty good so it should catch most of the junk, and I can always set it back if it doesn't.
Posted by OldGuy at 8:56 AM | Comments (2)
January 18, 2006
Another Sad Bus Story
I was on the bus last night, half asleep as usual, when a couple of kids got on. Kids as in young teenagers, I could identify them as such by their voices and vocabulary. I didn't pay them much attention until I heard the girl say "it's so cool to be pregnant." At that point my eyes popped open and I got a good look at her as she was seated ditrectly across from me. She couldn't have been more than 14-15 years old. She was chatting with the two guys who got on with her, one of whom it turned out was her boyfriend, but not the guy who got her pregnant because supposedly he's a jerk. So the three of them are talking and her current boyfriend seems to be a jerk too, or maybe he's just immature. After all, he couldn't have been more than 16 years old himself.
There were a few older ladies sitting nearby (by older I mean older than 30 anyway) and the three of us glanced at each other once or twice and rolled our eyes at these kids and the sad predicament they were in and their total lack of understanding of the situation.
And as I got off the bus all I could think was "please God convice them to put the baby up for adoption or it won't survive."
Posted by OldGuy at 1:45 PM | Comments (6)
January 8, 2006
Sunday Morning Musings
Today's edition is not so light and fluffy, like they usually are.
The title of my last post was "Just One of Those Days." It has in fact been one of those weeks.
To start with I lost a significant amount of money this week. I, who almost never carry money around did so and it's gone. I don't know if I actually lost it or if it was stolen (the second is actually a distinct possibilty as I left my wallet unattended for a few minutes this week and I know I had the money before that).
Next, we got some disconcerting news from our son last night re: his plans for the future. Nothing we can't deal with of course, but disconcerting nonetheless.
And finally, lately I get the feeling that I'm swimming against the tide. No matter what I do it turns to hell, or at least it feels that way.
Oh well, maybe next week things will get better.
Have a good week folks, and sorry if I was a downer.
Posted by OldGuy at 4:48 PM | Comments (12)
January 5, 2006
Just one of Those Days
Well, it's been a very busy week so I haven't had time to get to the tree house before this.
I'm back at work after a nice long Christmas holiday so that sorta sucks. It's not so much the work part I don't care for, it's having to get up early every morning. I had just gotten used to sleeping in every day and now it's up and at em by 6 a.m. again.
We took down all the Christmas decorations on Monday. Too bad, I like Christmas decorations, they spruce the place up (no pun intended).
I guess the other news of the week is that my lad left a few essays until the last minute so now he's scrambling to get them done. We're not too happy about it but maybe he'll learn a lesson.
Ah well, hopefully he'll do okay but he's going to need a wee bit of help.
Anyway, it's been a crazy week so I haven't had much time to write anything. Hopefully things will settle down in a few days.
On a completely different note, I've been experimenting with the HTML book I got for Christmas at another site I share with a friend so I decided to do the same here. I added a backround to the sidebar titles, played with the borders, changed a few names and stuff.
What do you think ? Be honest !
One more thing, I have a few more visits to return later today.
Posted by OldGuy at 11:38 AM | Comments (5)
December 9, 2005
There's Always Someone Worse Off Than You
So I was having a tub this morning, warm, lots of bubbles, just the way I like it and sipping my morning coffe when I got to thinking.
We're all under the weather again, seems the cold just won't go away at our house, my wife has it, I have it, the princess kinda has it and last night my son came home from school early because he was feeling lousy.
And what I was thinking was how when my son gets sick it's tougher on him than any of us (well, sorta cause we have to get him through it). See, with his diabetes, when he gets feeling lousy it becomes a game of getting him to take sustenance and getting the insulin just right and maybe he needs less insulin tonight because he doesn't feel like eating or maybe he needs extra insulin because sometimes when he gets sick his system plays a trick on him and processes imaginary food and it needs insulin to do that. Or maybe he needs to go down on his insulin because his body isn't functioning like it would when he's well so it thinks it isn't getting any sustenance at all, even though his mother just fed him chicken soup. Or maybe he needs to go up on his insulin because sometimes when he's sick his system gets stressed out and needs extra insulin to process any sustenance he gets. Or doesn't get. I think.
Damn, and I thought I had it tough.
Posted by OldGuy at 11:03 AM | Comments (6)
October 27, 2005
Not Feeling So Good
I've been neglecting my blog for the last few days and I really hate that.
Unfortunately the entire family is sick right now, my wife being the worst off. She had blood work done a few days ago and it showed a very low iron count, which explains why she's felt so lousy lately.
Anyway, just wanted to update things in case anyone is still dropping by the tree house so you wouldn't think I'd died.
I'll get back to writing in a few days but for the time being family is the priority. Besides I don't feel like writing when I'm sick anyway, it takes all the fun out of it.
In the meantime I'm playing around with design ideas. Stay tuned, and if anybody knows of any good tutorials on blog design let me know.
I'll also do some visiting and commenting next week as a few people have been to the tree house lately and I haven't had time to return the favour.
Posted by OldGuy at 2:57 PM | Comments (8)
October 12, 2005
Leave the Kids Out of It
Yesterday my daughter came home a bit sad because a girl in her class handed out the invitations to her birthday party and the princess wasn't invited. The girl told her she didn't have any room for all her friends so had to make a choice to leave somebody out.
I might have believed this excuse if it wasn't for the fact that her mother and my wife had a blow out way back when and rarely speak to each other anymore. No, I'm not going into it, it doesn't matter what happened, that's not the point.
What is the point is that the girls have been friends for a long time but ever since this incident they don't have play dates any more and the princess doesn't get to go to her birthday parties.
The princess did invite this girl to her birthday party a few months ago because she really wanted her there and we said fine, she's your friend, you want to invite her, it's okay with us.
Now, I'm usualy pretty easy going about stuff like this, I give people the benefit of the doubt. In other words, when she wasn't invited last year, for exactly the same reason I was willing to believe it.
But not this time.
The girls are close at school and the princess adores her. I simply cannot believe that for 2 years in a row she must have told her mother to cut the princess out so she could invite someone else instead, especially since a couple of the kids that were invited are classmates she rarely plays with.
Anyway, we'll take her out that day, maybe invite another friend over so she can have some fun and forget that once again she wasn't invited to a party she was really looking forward to.
And if I'm wrong I'm wrong, it wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last.
Posted by OldGuy at 9:34 AM | Comments (12)
September 30, 2005
Oh, the Drama
I was going to stay out of this thing but sometimes you have to stand up and be counted.
When did common courtesy go out the window ?
I've been following the drama over at BE lately, you know the one, the whole Housewife Mafia thing and it's gotten downright ugly.
People accusing other people of having crappy blogs, sticking together to vote in BotB, "satirizing" other blogs, and even writing some sort of manifesto, is that what that is ? You download it and it protects you from the Housewife Mafia. Or did I miss the point on that one, is it supposed to be funny ?
Anyway, it seems there's no such thing as common courtesy where some folks are concerned, no "let's just agree to disagree." Mud has to be slung, names have to be bandied about, rudeness must prevail.
Maybe I'm just old and soft but it seems to me that if nobody's shooting at you, your freedom isn't jeopardized, they're not trying to take your kids away or burn your house down a simple "you're intitled to your opinion" would suffice.
But that's just the way I was raised.
Posted by OldGuy at 8:34 PM | Comments (15)
September 20, 2005
Jennifer
She's beautiful isn't she ?
To look at her you would imagine a bright, happy, teenage girl with the whole world ahead of her. And you'd almost be right, that's what she was.
18 years old, great student, fantastic soccer player, worked at the local Wendy's where she always greeeted people with a smile.
A nice kid.
A kid with a future.
Until someone kidnapped her on her way home from work a few weeks ago, murdered her, and dumped her body in a marsh like a piece of trash.
And now she'll never never play soccer again.
Never greet another customer with her lovely smile.
Never fulfill her dreams.
And the world is a sadder place because of it.
Rest easy Jennifer.
Posted by OldGuy at 11:01 AM | Comments (12)
September 13, 2005
Why
I’ve always wanted to go to Israel, see where our lord walked, touch things he touched
But mosques are torn down in the Gaza strip and violence reigns there
The emerald isle is a place I’ve dreamed of going; maybe see a leprechaun or two
But there is rioting in Belfast because people of different religions can’t get along
Once upon a time I wanted to go to New York, see the Trade Center Towers
But some crazy people flew planes into them and killed thousands of other people
I used to think I wanted to go to London to see where the queen lives
But terrorists put bombs on subways there so they could make a point
I thought about going to Japan once, see the lights of Tokyo
But then I heard the subways were dangerous there too, people getting gassed
Finally I decided to stay home because home is warm and bright and safe
But now a few blocks away police are desperately searching for a beautiful young girl
So I think I’ll hide here in the tree house because nothing can hurt me here
And I can pretend the world outside doesn’t exist and violence isn’t real
**Okay folks, I don't mean to be such a bummer but this thing about the young girl really has me shaken up. You go through life thinking violence cannot touch you or anyone near you and then you wake up one day and there's cops all over the place and you realize that your little neighbourhood, where everybody knows everybody else and where you all watch out for each other, isn't as safe as you thought it was and you feel violated and you wonder if your kids are safe today. I mean, yeah sure you know it happens but damn, this is where I live ! I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days but for now this has thrown me for a loop**
Posted by OldGuy at 1:46 PM | Comments (15)
August 31, 2005
Hurricane Katrina
I could not leave for a few days without saying that, like people all over the world, I have watched with great sadness the scenes of death and devastation left behind by Hurricane Katrina.
I've been watching CNN for the last few hours and every report just adds to the incredible horror of this disaster.
My prayers are with the families of the victims and those who are trying desperately to save everyone they can.
God be with you all.
Posted by OldGuy at 8:18 PM | Comments (7)
July 7, 2005
Bombing In London
As this event has been quite extensively covered in the media today I'm only going to add that my prayers are with the victims and their families.
Posted by OldGuy at 11:34 AM
June 26, 2005
It Grinds
It's Back.
The pain.
It was gone for a while but now it's back.
Allow me to explain.
I have rheumatoid arthritis, have had it for several years. As a result I have suffered joint damage to my feet, ankles, wrists and fingers. I also have torn muscles in both shoulders that apparently cannot be fixed because they're not large, easy to repair tears. Rather, they're what's known as tissue tears, which means the muscles look like a sheet of tissue paper that's been stretched almost to the breaking point; a lot of little tears all over the place.
I take medication for the arthritis and it usually works pretty well but sometimes the disease goes into a flare up and it's as if the medication just doesn't work. When that happens I get serious pain to the point that I take pain medication like candy just to keep the pain at a bearable level. It's usually much worse at night, and I often wake up in the middle of the night and I'm awake for hours.
A couple of winters ago was the worst the pain ever got. For several months I was waking up every night between 1-2 a.m. and often didn't get back to sleep for hours. As a result I was always tired, which made it harder to deal with the pain and eventually the whole thing was just a big vicious circle; couldn't sleep because of the pain, couldn't deal with the pain because I was always tired so the pain kept getting worse.
One night I awoke from a dream in which somebody asked me what it was like to be in pain all the time and I replied "It grinds."
When I woke up I thought about those words and I quickly realized how appropriate they were. You see, the pain was grinding my resistance, my spirit, my very will to live. It felt like I was being ground down a little more every night.
After several months I got to the point that I almost couldn’t deal with it anymore and I entertained thoughts of finding a quick way out. I didn’t do it though and when spring came and the weather warmed up the pain finally receded; it didn't go away completely, it never does, but it became bearable again.
Then last winter was pretty good, barely any pain at all, and I thought I'd make it right through to next winter again with little pain at all.
But it came back about a month ago and it's up to its old nasty tricks again.
It's the middle of the night and I got up about an hour and a half ago and popped some painkillers.
I think I'll go back to bed and try to get some sleep now.
Posted by OldGuy at 1:19 AM | Comments (2)
May 26, 2005
Some Days Just Suck
Well, it certainly isn't the best of days, not by a long shot.
Had a rough time at home last night and the old man lost his temper.
Yeah, I know it happens but I hate it nonetheless.
I'm not sure how things are at home today because I've been at work all day. Guess I'll find out in about an hour.
Other than that it's been a very busy day at work and I'm bone tired both from last night's incident and work and I just want to get home and sit down and have a coffee in peace.
On another, happier note, I'd like to thank the folks at Liz's site for their help with my blog the last few days.
Don't know who they are ? Go to lilliebet.com, link's just down the page a bit.
Posted by OldGuy at 3:30 PM | Comments (3)
May 19, 2005
JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes
The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation is holding it's annual walks to cure diabetes in Canada over the next few months.
My employer, a health-oriented organization is getting involved again this year so I've decided to help out as I now have a personal stake in this.
The JDRF holds walks throughtout the world.
Check out the JDRF in your part of the world for walk dates and times.
Here is the link for walk dates in Canada.
Posted by OldGuy at 3:49 PM
May 5, 2005
Gotta Get Back in Gear
I haven't felt much like writing lately.
I've been in a bit of a funk and the weather's been cold and wet which really gets my arthritis going so with all of that I've been somewhat unenthusiastic.
Anyway, I'm going to make an effort today.
Besides, I owe Bill an article by the weekend.
Bill, if I can't think of anything new I might have to resurrect an old piece. ):
Posted by OldGuy at 10:42 AM | Comments (3)
April 29, 2005
A Bit of a Sad Day
Today is the 10th anniversary of my mother's death.
Although I'm a bit sad I'm also sure she's in a good place so I'll just say:
"Hi mom, I miss you."
One of these days I'm going to write about her funeral. Although it was certainly a sad event it was kinda nice too.
Posted by OldGuy at 4:29 PM
April 10, 2005
A New Low
Last night my son had his first heavy duty serious as hell low.
Up until now when his blood sugars went low he would start to sweat or get shaky and his mood might change a bit but he would recognize the symptoms and treat them (or we would) but last night was different.
My wife and I were in the family room when our daughter came in and said to come quick because her brother was hurt. We ran upstairs and found him in the kitchen stumbling around looking totally disoriented and frightened. He kept repeating that he wasn't hurt and just wanted to sit down but it was obvious that he didn't know what was happening. We led him to the couch so he could lay down and immediately set about getting some sugar in him. As this was our first experience with a serious low my wife called the doctor to be sure we weren't missing anything and she told us what to do.
We then spent the next couple of hours getting his blood sugars up and testing his blood to be sure he was okay that way.
He banged himself up pretty good and he's going to be in some pain this morning but at least he's okay otherwise.
It was a very scary experience and having seen it once I hope I never see it again.
Posted by OldGuy at 1:28 PM | Comments (2)
April 3, 2005
Pope John Paul II
Pope John Paul II died today and I feel very sad.
He was a great human being who loved God and loved his fellow man and nothing is more wonderful than that.
I hate to say goodbye to him so I will say farewell instead, fare very well.
Posted by OldGuy at 3:08 AM
March 30, 2005
Happy Anniversary Son
Friday, April 1st will be the first anniversary of my son being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. It's been a quite a roller coaster year, with lots of highs and lows (pun definitely intended).
A person is usually diagnosed with this disease when the pancreas starts to malfunction but it takes approximately a year from the time of diagnosis for it to fail completely. Well, the year is up and we're definitely noticing it as his levels are getting harder to control. This means he'll have to have his insulin levels adjusted at his next appointment and he's not looking forward to that, but he really doesn't have much choice. And another thing, he's tired right now. Tired of monitoring his levels, tired of watching what he eats, and especially tired of needles. I think right now he'd rather say "screw it, I don't need this crap." but he keeps on keeping on.
I admire him for dealing with this disease as well as he has so far, it takes guts to do that day after day. You might think it just becomes routine and in a way it does, but that doesn't mean you enjoy the routine.
Are you having fun yet son ?
Posted by OldGuy at 7:28 PM | Comments (1)
March 29, 2005
The title says it all.
The Family that Hates Together Stays Together
Posted by OldGuy at 1:04 PM
January 26, 2005
Anybody have the parenting guide ?
With all the time and effort that has been devoted to the subject of parenting there must be a definitive guide on the subject by now.
You know the one. It has all the answers to all the questions and situations that present themselves. If you have it, please pass it along.
Why ? Because just when I thought I was doing a good job something comes up that makes me rethink things.
It happened yesterday. A situation has come up (well, not so much come up, rather it persists) and I'm questioning how I've dealt with it until now.
It was pointed out to me that in order to resolve this situation I have to be less of a friend and more of a father. The problem is that this means coming down a little harder than I've done in the past and it's not going to be easy. See, I do tend go easy on my kids, try to spare them if I can.
Why do I do this ?
Is it fear of conflict ? Could be, I do like peace and quiet in my life. Is it that I don't want to hurt my kids ? Could be that too, certainly when they hurt I hurt.
Whatever the reason, this kind of parenting can lead to problems in the long run.
Anyway, if anybody has such a guide please let me know, I could use it. In the meantime I'll just keep muddling along.
Posted by OldGuy at 2:50 PM | Comments (1)