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December 19, 2004
You Make Me Laugh
My daughter and I love to do silly stuff together. You know, like see who can burp the loudest, or change the words to a song so it's funny.
A few weeks ago, when things were rough at home, I came home from work one day and after saying hello to my wife and son went to play with her. After a couple of minutes we were both laughing together and it felt good.
When I thought about it later I realized that I had needed to laugh, it was the only way I was going to make it through the rest of the day.
When I was putting her to bed that night we started up again and after a few minutes we were once again laughing like fools.
I wanted her to know how important it had been to me that she made me laugh that day so I told her "you make me laugh."
For the next few days every time I felt lousy I would play with her and sure enough, after a few minutes I would get laughing again. And at night when I put her to bed I would again tell her "you make me laugh."
The first couple of times I said it to her she would respond something like "yeah, whatever" because she didn't understand how important it was to me that she had made me laugh.
Then one night I said it to her just before she feel asleep and she looked at me and smiled and I knew that she had understood that she had made daddy feel better.
Posted by OldGuy at 5:07 PM
December 15, 2004
Beautiful
I was on the bus on my way to work this morning and saw a beautiful sight.
It’s a very cold day and the river is starting to freeze over, with patches of ice covered in snow. There was a mist over the river and because there’s no wind today it just hung there obscuring the hills behind. The whole scene looked very calm and peaceful.
I started to think about it and realized that if you really look around you see things like this all the time, you just have to be paying attention.
Years ago I took a photography course. One winter morning I got up early to take some pictures down by the river. When I got there the sun was just coming up and the effect was awesome. Several branches had ice hanging from them and every few seconds the sun would catch one, creating fantastical rainbow effects. First this one, then that one, sometimes several together. It was like being surrounded by tiny prisms, every one of them reflecting the sun. I sat down and watched until the sun had moved enough that it was no longer shining on them.
Here’s another one. Again, winter time. Funny, I always complain that I don’t like winter but maybe secretly I do !. Near our old apartment there was a field that had one tree in it, just one. It wasn’t much to look at in the summer, but in the winter after a fresh snowfall it never failed to impress me. As I’d go by there on the bus in the morning I’d look at that old tree in that field and think to myself “still hanging in there eh, good for you.”
A couple of summers ago we went to a friend’s cottage for the day. That evening after the sun went down the fireflies came out in the field. I hadn’t seen fireflies since I was a kid and it was a wonderful sight. Hundreds of little blinking lights hovering over the field, moving this way and that, like Christmas lights in the summer. Needless to say I just had to go back in and get my daughter to come out and watch. She absolutely loved it.
Want to see something really fantastic ? Go into your children’s rooms at night after they have fallen asleep and watch them. It doesn’t matter what age they are, just watch them sleeping. This will make you feel good every time. It’s especially wonderful if you’ve had a bad day or the children themselves have given you grief that day. Watching them sleep reminds you of why you love them.
Posted by OldGuy at 12:02 PM
December 11, 2004
He's My Son
I’m adopted. This fact never really mattered much to me because I was adopted at a very young age ( 3 months) so as far as I was concerned the people who raised me were my parents. Also, I always knew I was adopted, that is to say, I was raised knowing about it so it wasn’t like I found out one day and it was a terrible shock.
Some people go searching for their birth parents later in life but I never did. Oh sure I would get curious about my birth mother once in a while, and ask myself where she was now and did I have brothers and sisters out there that I didn’t know about, who wouldn’t, but it was never more than idle curiosity. Never was this curiosity strong enough to become involved in the bureaucratic nightmare that is the search for a birth relative.
Because being adopted was not important to me I always thought that when I had children some day I would feel the same way about them whether they too were adopted or were my biological children.
All that changed when my son was born. I don’t know why but it was like he was “my blood”, “my kin” as they say in the movies. I never really understood that expression before he was born but I did then. It just felt like he was literally a part of me.
I’m not saying that adopted children are not deeply loved by their adoptive parents, certainly I was. It’s just that I now felt different about the whole thing. A couple of weeks ago I said to one of the people at the hospital “you need to understand, HE’S MY SON, MY BLOOD”.
I guess that’s why I feel as deeply as I do about him and my daughter. They are my blood and for some reason that is so very important.
Posted by OldGuy at 9:27 PM
December 10, 2004
It Was a Good Week
I'm not up to waxing philosophical today however I couldn't finish the week without mentioning the good things that have happened so I'll just list them:
- found a wonderful psychologist for our son; hopefully they'll "click"
- got an offer of help from a friend here; I was surprised and overwhelmed but then that's what friends do isn't it ?
- won the bi-weekly draw at work; not a lot of money but enough to take the family out to dinner
- logged into CCSP from work and got fast page loads for the first time in several months
All in all, a pretty good week.
Posted by OldGuy at 2:26 PM
December 2, 2004
Friends
Have you ever stopped to think about all the things friends do for us ? I mean, really think about it ?
I've been away from work a lot lately dealing with stuff. My boss, who is also my friend, has been very kind and compassionate throughout. This morning she came by my desk and offered to take some forms to our HR department for me. She didn't have to do this, it was up to me, but she did it anyway.
When my wife and I were at the hospital the last few weeks a friend picked our daughter up from the bus several times, often keeping her for hours. She even kept her overnight once. With everything else that was going on it was a great relief not to have to rush back home every afternoon and to know that she was always in good hands.
Other friends brought food and called or came by to ask how we were doing or if we needed anything.
One of my son's friends, to whom I will be forever grateful, took the initiative to let the guidance counsellor know when he told her he wanted to commit suicide. She probably saved his life.
Pretty awesome.
Posted by OldGuy at 12:53 PM
December 1, 2004
Let Me Entertain You
A couple of summers ago, my daughter, who was 5 years old at the time developped a fascination for bees. Bees were the greatest, they were our friends and she loved to watch them. Trouble is, she didn't understand that they sting.
One day while we were playing in the back yard I noticed a huge bee. You know the kind, big, black fuzzy thing about the size of a helicopter. Anyway, I called her over so she could watch it as it was buzzing from flower to flower.
She walked over all excited and upon seeing it asked me to catch it for her. Not wanting to tell her it would sting me if I tried that instead I told her that I didn't have a net to catch it with. She said we had a bug net in the garage and I should go get it. Again, not wanting to scare her I told her that I could not get to the garage and back fast enough because, you know, daddy can't run that fast and it would probably fly off first. She came right back with "Okay, you entertain it, I'll run and get the net" :)
Posted by OldGuy at 12:00 PM